Why do we say “yes” when we secretly mean “no”?
Why can't we say no to long hours of work and pressing social engagements even when we don't want to attend?
The inability to say No affects our finances
I have a hard time turning down causes, crusades or anything that smacks of non-profit.
Whenever I get an offer to do something new or slightly interesting I jump on that bandwagon and even make deals with crazy-makers (people whose only job is to make you crazy).
My struggle to say no can sometimes leave me feeling overwhelmed, which leaves me stuck, with no clue of where to start.
This makes me unproductive, affects the amount of work I get done and the amount of money I make.
Stretching Ourselves Thin Gives Rise To Time Scarcity
It’s easy to let intolerable situations and unbearable people (aka crazy-makers) rule our lives and our finances because we’re afraid to say, "No."
Humans are wired towards tribalism because going against the tribe in our cavemen days meant death.
Being thrown out of the tribe meant lack of shelter, lack of food and lack of protection from other tribes, which also equalled death.
The ability to say no is linked to our ability to choose, without the option to say no, the concept of choice disappears.
When you focus on pleasing others you ALWAYS lose
When we say no to one thing, we let the universe know what we don’t want in our lives and by default we also state what we do want.
Saying no to the things that no longer serve us brings more opportunities and creates space for the right things to come into our lives.
It makes us more discerning of the things we say yes to, which leads to better financial decisions.
When we become clear about what we want in our lives, it becomes easier for our minds to focus and notice little things, in our environment, that’ll help us make that vision a reality.
How to Say NO when you struggle with people pleasing
1. Know your boundaries
Evaluate yourself and understand what you will not do.
When people ask you to do something, you can always stand by your refusal and in time they'll know where you stand on certain issues.
2. Understand the difference between refusing a request and rejecting someone
We’re scared to say no because we think that saying no to someone’s request is a rejection of that person.
That’s a false belief – saying no to a request isn’t saying no to the person.
It’s important to be very clear with the other person about this.
According to my life coach NO stands for New Opportunities.
If you feel like saying no to a request is saying no to the person, you need to examine your fear of rejection because you could be projecting your fears to the situation.
When people reject a request from us, they're rejecting the request, not us.
3. Be open and honest
Don’t apologise or make up stories about why you're saying no.
Be honest and to the point and don’t feel guilty about it.
4. Be non-apologetic about saying no
When you're apologetic about your no, people can sense it and they can sway you or make you feel guilty.
When you’re firm in your no, people respect it and move on.
Knowing what we want makes it easier for us to take action, because we know exactly what we’re working towards.
Stating what we no longer want, brings us closer to the things we really want.
How would your finances change if you decided to say no to the things that don’t add value to your lives?
Let me know in the comments section.